How to be a ‘Woman in Full’
Lately, I have been pondering about how to be a ‘woman in full’? I am asking myself this question. Nonetheless, there is also a bit irony to it. However, I have felt a lot of pain and personal struggles these days since I feel my family falling apart. I mean my parents in this context since I’ve never had a family of my own.
I have mentioned in another recent post that my dad has been in a coma state for some months now with few hopes of recovery. My mom is not dealing well with the situation understandably. Since I am also an only child the burden is on me to take care of my parents.
I wish I had more support these days from family and friends. I might have been a looner all my life but I desperately feel the need to change something about my situation. Thus, I think that with someone close to me, life will be different and other opportunities may also arise.
Isolation & Creativity
In the past, I could never imagine being married or having a child. However, these days I am not so sure anymore. I have felt this need last year already to change something profoundly about my life. I know I am already 42 years old. Hence, the chances of eventually having a family of my own are getting slim.
Perhaps I am only confused these days and suffering from increased isolation. I may not look like an isolated person judging from my pictures. But then again what are photos? Do pictures mirror reality? I can only say that taking pictures make me happy. I forget about my burdens and just live in the moment and enjoy the creative process.
I think that inspiration and creativity primarily stem from personal struggles. Thus, I can canalise these struggles into something beautiful. I wish to be more active and just go for it. My problem is that I have always struggled with passivity and indecision.
However, I try implementing the law of attraction. I know that what you feel to be true about yourself, is shown in the outer world. Neville Goddard says that everyone is you pushed out. Hence, I suppose I have to work on myself to be cherished and adored in real life, no?
Reality & Virtual World
I feel that when I create something in the virtual world, people get a certain image or impression about myself which may not actually be true. I am primarily creating in the virtual world to connect with people. It would be nice to have them approaching me also. However, I may also attract unwanted attention but that’s alright.
Anyways, I am already a woman in full regardless of outer circumstances, friends, partner, family…but sometimes I feel painfully desolated. I feel that as a human being, you do need some kind of connection and heritage, right?
All in all, I could go on like this forever telling you what I want and desire…I have also mentioned that I want vintage fashion to open new doors for me. Thus, I think that vintage fashion has already become a kind of refuge to me. How do you feel? Feel free to share your feelings with me.