I Wanna be a Free Girl, Baby
Lately I have realized how difficult it is to develop relationships with other people because of my difficult family situation. I know this will be a very personal post expressing what I am going through these days. Maybe you have already read my recent post about ‘How to be a Woman in Full’. In that article I have already touched upon my feelings and wishes for my life.
The greatest issue I have been facing all my life is my mom’s strong attachment to me. I am aware that this problem has in always existed throughout my life but it has increased since my dad has been seriously ill.
I am pretty much aware of the fact that finally I have to break free if I want to survive and live a healthy life. The first step to achieving this is getting psychotherapy because I have to learn to open up to the world. In addition, I feel that this blog is also a platform to voice my personal thoughts.
Hence, I will be sharing some of my insights and progress on this blog as well. Perhaps, my website will also be unique since it is not only about my passion for vintage fashion but also a platform to express my personal development.
I am looking for a clearance kick that would set me free from my mom’s attachment and wish to have control over me. My strategy has most often been to withdraw myself. However, in the long term this is not working. My therapist says there is no other way else than to communicate clear boundaries and also to face confrontation.
These days I am quite clear about what I want and how I desire my life to be. I can’t always be at hand for my parents and I feel I have already done too much so as to give up parts of my own life. I am not accepting this anymore though. Like everyone else I have the right to live my life and do the things I want. The only issue is that at this point I still feel so obliged to my mom. Thus, I kind of do what she expects so that she is content.
A Free Girl Baby
However, this situation cannot stay like this forever. I am not getting any younger and I still want to experience a healthy relationship and maybe have a family of my own. I feel it is very burdensome to always keep parents happy. But still I feel kind of afraid to open up to the world and not care what my mom thinks. How can I change that?
I feel a strong desire to eventually break free. Hence, the best song I can think of that expresses something along those lines is Dusty Springfield’s ‘I wanna be a free girl’.
Summing up, this is a crucial phase of personal development in my life. I so much hope things change for the better eventually. There are probably not many women my age who struggles with such issues and in a way I feel like a teenager and that’s a shame. Have you been going through similar difficulties?